Rainy Day, No Thank You
by Alphonseelric22
Summary: What happens when you combine Roy, Riza, and jazz music? We're about to find out. Rated M for swearing.


"Where the hell is he?" Ed groused, elbow on the table and his chin resting in his hand.

"I don't even know why we came here," Erin said, shrugging her shoulders as she leaned back in her chair.

"You know we do these dinners every month and this time it was Roy's choice where we go. I'm sure they'll show up soon enough," Treena said, folding her hands together on the table.

"That manwhore is probably having a quickie before dinner," Erin remarked with a snicker.

"Been there, done that," Mia replied, grinning from ear to ear as Russell nudged her under the table.

"That was more than I needed to hear about you, Mia," Al said, scrunching his nose up at the whole idea.

"Oh you know you've all done it before," she said, still grinning.

Treena crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I have more self control than that, unlike some people I know." Their eyes all darted to Erin and Ed, both of them blushing faintly.

"Oh shut up! We don't do that shit!"

"You are such a liar Mistress," Luxord interjected, evil smile in place as his tail flicked around lazily.

"Though I can't really say we're any better," Lor said with a smirk and a wink at Luxord.

"I don't think I'm very hungry anymore. All this sex talk is so inappropriate! What if someone hears us?" Al said, expression worried as his eyes darted around the restaurant.

"I'll just punch 'em," Ed replied and any other comments died as the band began to play, smooth upbeat jazz filling the room as the curtain came up and their jaws dropped to the table.

Riza and Roy stood on stage, Roy dressed in a casual suit and Riza in a dress with quite a long slit up one leg and a low cut top. The two snapped their fingers just near their hips as the music started, feet tapping with the beat of the drums.

"Holy shit they look just like Roy and Riza!" Mia remarked.

"That's because that is them stupid!" Ed retorted, throwing his balled up napkin at her.

"Ssh! I think they're gonna sing!" Treena said, attention held by the flow of the music.

_Party_

_A rain of champagne_

_Sexy lady_

_A kiss for your escort_

_Now it's showtime_

_Despite a message of love_

_The moonlight_

_Vanished in an instant_

The group stared in wonder and sheer amazement as Roy's voice drifted through the room, all silk and seduction as it caressed their eardrums and they'd never thought Roy could make such a beautiful sound.

_Rainy days are pleasant but, no thank you_

_Ohh... a foolish Lonely man_

_But that sort of scene is cute_

_Drops soaking into our eyes_

_Now I'll embrace you with these hands_

_You see I wanna set you on fire_

"They have to be imposters," Mia said, pointing at the two of them on stage. The Roy and Riza we know do not sing. Ever."

"Who knew he could sing like that," Alphonse said, totally disregarding Mia's statement as he stared at them in awe.

"It is pretty impressive," Alfons replied, foot tapping to the beat.

Roy and Riza's feet danced along beneath them, both spinning with their mics towards center stage and back again before the next line came up and Riza's eyes glazed over, red and tempting.

_Tonight at midnight_

_Let's look for a star_

_That's a bit shy_

Riza's voice called out to the crowd assembled in the restaurant, beautiful and smooth as she sang. The group found themselves staring at the stage in rapt wonder, even Erin and Ed silenced by their obvious skill.

_Tomorrow morning at 11_

_We'll check out from_

_Loneliness together _

_Dripping wet, you're like a puppy without skill_

_Ohh... I know I'm incompetent_

"It's about damn time he admitted it," Ed said with a snicker, Erin giggling at his side before Treena silence them with a kick to their shins.

_But it's okay to not always be strong_

_Wiping drops from your cheeks_

_Now I wanna hold you tight_

_A siren of irony that estranges everyone_

The saxophone began it's solo as Riza and Roy went to each other, embracing and doing what none of them thought possible. Swing dance was something all of them were rarely familiar with but they recognized it when they saw it. It was wonderful to watch as the two flipped and their feet moved with grace and speed carrying them along stage. Riza took a dive, hunching down on her knees to launch Roy above her head and propel him back to his microphone.

_Rainy days are pleasant but, no thank you_

_Ohh... a foolish Lonely man_

_But that sort of scene is cute_

_Drops soaking into our eyes_

The two of them came together again, bringing one microphone to center stage and hugging to each other's sides, seductive looks going between the two of them as they came upon the big finale of their whole song and dance.

_Now I'll embrace you with these hands_

_You see I wanna set you on fire _

The crowd cheered as the band wound down and Roy and Riza bowed, even Ed and Erin had bothered to stand up, cheering and whooping at their friends, Mia whistling beside them. Riza had enough humility to blush but Roy took in all the praise he received but for once, let someone else take the limelight a bit too and it was so weird for him to do that. Edward guessed it was only because of who it was.

The two joined their group at the table as the crowd calmed and soft, calm jazz flooded the room with comfort. Relaxing the atmosphere, or at least for the most part. The same couldn't be said for the dinner group at the table in the back of the room, still raucous and excited as they all stood to greet their friends.

"Holy shit that was fucking amazing! I didn't know you could do that!" Edward exclaimed, clapping Mustang on the shoulder.

Treena grinned from ear to ear as she took her place again in her chair, practically bouncing in her seat. "And that dancing was phenomenal! Who knew you two could dance swing! Absolutely amazing!"

"Yeah!" Mia continued. "You guys were like WHOOSH and your feet were like everywhere and fucking hell that was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"

"Why didn't you tell us you could dance Mustang?" Luxord asked, tail now waving around in a flurry of pure enjoyment.

"Yeah! You two totally could've performed at my birthday party last year," Lor said with a laugh, tail wrapping around Luxord's to calm it down before it whipped someone. It was never fun when a humanoid being had to stand there apologizing to an actual human for his tail having a mind of it's own, never mind watching the whole thing. That was just painful enough.

Roy absolutely beamed and Riza had this certain glow to her that was rarely seen. Sure, she could glow with warmth and many other emotions but never had they seen this glow, this bright, alive glow that could fill a room with it light.

"We really wanted it to be a surprise," Riza explained as a waitress came, took their orders, and took Rixa and Roy's signatures on a small sheet of paper. "We had to pull a few strings but we managed to make it happen."

Roy was still grinning like a mad man by the time he'd actually gotten around to speaking. "Now we'll have to do something even more exciting to follow up this month's dinner."

Treena waved the comment off, jutting a thumb out in Ed's direction, another in Mia's. "Heck, all you have to do is tell these two there's food and they couldn't care less what else is happening. I guess it's a good thing we were all to busy watching you two to order."

"HEY!" Ed and Mia shouted, both turning to Treena.

Alfons laughed along with a few others at the table before it finally died down and sobered up. Erin looked to Ed, tugging on his sleeve and managing the best pout she could muster. "So, when are we going to learn swing huh?"

"Yeah Russell. When do we get to learn to move like that?"

"Honey, swing dancing looks so interesting and I would really love to give it a try," Treena said, batting her eyelashes.

All three men had the same expression but it was Alfons who spoke first. "I'm going to guess no is not an option."

"Not a chance buddy. You're screwed," Mustang said with a chuckle.

"Great."


End file.
